“I’d rather be fishing with my 15 grandchildren.”
Farmer and “accidental activist” Percy Schmeiser, who is about to go to Canada’s supreme court to challenge a claim by the biotech giant Monsanto that he illegally grew its genetically modified soya (Associated Press, 19 January)
“I just thought it was a good name for my small part-time business.”
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Mike Rowe of Vancouver, who has been corresponding with Microsoft’s lawyers after registering the domain name MikeRoweSoft.com (ZDNet UK, 19 January)
“That’s a lot by western standards, but it’s normal for Russia.”
Vladimir Nuzhny of Russia’s National Narcology Research Centre on experiments in which volunteers were asked to drink a third of a bottle of vodka in an hour (The Times, London, 19 January)
“Sadly we had to put a pet rat to sleep after it became so obese from being fed curries that it could barely move.”
Veterinary surgeon Caroline Reay of the Blue Cross animal charity, which last week warned that junk food was causing an epidemic among Britain’s pets (press release, 14 January)
“Pets will not notice that they have a reduced fat content.”
A Tesco spokesperson on the supermarket chain’s new range of low-fat pet food (The Independent, London, 19 January)
“For the third consecutive day, it has been colder here than it has been on Mars…”
The Globe and Mail, Toronto, 17 January
