THE LONDON Evening Standard recently published a reader鈥檚 letter
which stated as unqualified fact that 鈥渁 fraud company has designed a device
whereby once you press #90 or 09# (at the request of a cold caller purporting to
be a cellphone service engineer) they can access your SIM card and make calls at
your expense鈥�.
Similar warnings have been raised before but in chain e-mails or on Internet
chat sites, never in hard newsprint as solid fact. So now people will know it鈥檚
true.
Feedback reckoned there was only one way to find out for sure鈥攁sk the
companies that run cellphone networks.
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Vodafone, for example, says, 鈥淲e and other network operators have tried to
replicate the alleged results of these scams but with no success.鈥�
Another provider, BT Cellnet, agrees: 鈥淚t鈥檚 an urban myth! There is
absolutely no evidence to prove this. We have carried out extensive tests and
found no evidence to date that a third party can charge calls to a bona fide
mobile customer鈥檚 account using the #90 method.鈥�
So now we know鈥攗nless of course someone out there has hard evidence
that the scam really does work.
FIRST IT was green bullets
(Feedback, 19 May).
Now a press release from the
US Agricultural Research Service tells us that the US Army, in its continuing
quest to be environmentally friendly, has asked the service to develop
extra-tough plants that can survive the treatment meted out by soldiers and
military vehicles.
One is inevitably reminded of Deuteronomy 20:19, which says: 鈥淲hen in war
against a city you have to besiege for a long time in order to capture it, you
must not destroy its trees鈥�, the idea being that innocent trees should not be
victims of human disputes.
Quite right too, although some might add that innocent humans shouldn鈥檛 be
victims of them either.
EXAM SUPERVISORS at a leading New Zealand university were taken aback to
receive this communication just as one of the exams was about to start:
鈥淚mportant!!! For Paper xxxx, students have been incorrectly advised that
calculators are permitted in this examination. However, there is not a single
question in this paper involving any calculation for which a calculator will be
required. Accordingly, calculators are permitted but are not applicable. We
apologise for any inconvenience caused.鈥�
THE DNA sequencing kit produced by PE Biosystems includes this warning:
鈥淓thanol. . . is irritating to the skin, eyes, respiratory system. It can cause
nerve and liver damage, CNS depression, nausea, vomiting and headache. Always
work in a fume hood. Wear appropriate protective eyewear, clothing and
驳濒辞惫别蝉.鈥�
If people start taking such instructions seriously, Feedback鈥檚 local pub will
never be the same again.
READERS continue to send us messages about their experiences of
semiopathy鈥攅motional responses to ambiguously worded signs. Here are some
of them.
Kylie Evans was taken aback by a notice in her local shopping mall which told
her: 鈥�65 per cent of freeze-dried coffee drinkers prefer Nescaf茅鈥�.
Each day, Jane Baldwin drives past a sign outside a farm in West Sussex
stating 鈥淧ick Your Own Entrance鈥�. It always puzzles her, because there is only
one.
Peter Garside reports with concern that painted in large letters on the wall
of a car park in Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire, are the words 鈥淔lat Residents
翱苍濒测鈥�.
Joe Fenton argues that drivers should be cautious when approaching 鈥渃ross
roads鈥� and train travellers more talkative to 鈥渞eserved seats鈥�.
Norman Wilson reports that in Norfolk recently there were roadside notices
stating 鈥淐atseyes Removed鈥�. He wonders if any other county offers this
service.
Above one of the fresh food counters in Linda Death鈥檚 local supermarket is a
sign saying 鈥淪ue Your Friendly Fishmonger鈥�. But she has no reason to do so,
since the fish is always fine.
John Haythorne was putting his shopping trolley back in the 鈥減arking area鈥� at
his local supermarket. A notice attached to the rail stated 鈥淭rolleys Thank
You鈥�, but his didn鈥檛. He has also been puzzled by a sign beside a farm entrance
near the village where he lives. It says 鈥淣o Parking Penalty 拢40鈥� but
although he has never parked there, no one has asked him to pay a fine.
Meanwhile, Steve Plater thinks that parking offenders must be delighted when
they come across one of those signs saying 鈥淧olice Notice No Parking鈥�.
Howard Fox often passes a sign on a road out of Auckland, New Zealand, which
announces 鈥淓xtreme Care School鈥�. If he has children, this is definitely where he
is going to send them.
Peter Fyfe says that when he drives onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge he is
greeted by a sign saying 鈥淔ull Stop To Pay Toll鈥�. He presumes that other
punctuation marks cross the bridge for free.
Allan Ashworth, who commissions contract research for the government, implies
feelings of sympathy when he tells us he has to deal with a lot of 鈥渢ender
诲辞肠耻尘别苍迟蝉鈥�.
Tim Wilkinson-Lewis wandered into a computer software shop in Middlesbrough
to find himself faced with a sign stating 鈥淣o Sweat Exchange Policy鈥�. Annoyed
that he wouldn鈥檛 be able to swap bodily fluids for software products, he left
the shop immediately.
Andrew Briggs was watching a TV programme about farms that have turned into
tourist attractions as endangered breeds centres. One such was called a
鈥淒isappearing Goat Farm鈥�. Briggs immediately formed an image of a group of
onlookers leaning on a gate, observing the occasional puff of smoke as another
goat vanished.
AN ARTICLE in the November bulletin of the AARP, which represents people over
50, is headlined: 鈥渘ew studies show that good balance prevents falling鈥�
FINALLY, as that time of year approaches when households traditionally reward
their local dustmen with a small gratuity, John Holt wonders how many of the
said dustmen will obey the signs around many towns stating 鈥淩efuse Tips鈥�.
