CONGRATULATIONS to reader Stu Ryder, who has inadvertently succeeded in
locking two computers into an endless loop.
Ryder needed to pick up e-mails sent to a former work colleague, so he
arranged for any e-mails sent to his ex-colleague’s computer to be automatically
forwarded to her. He also set up an auto-reply on the computer to tell senders
this was what had happened to their e-mails.
Enter his company’s IT department, which responds to any e-mail it receives
with an automatic acknowledgement. Also, like any other IT department, it
informs everyone on its network if there are any server problems causing delays
to the e-mail system.
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That is what it did a few days ago. There were problems with the server, so
the IT department sent out a warning message to everyone on the system. This
arrived at Ryder’s ex-colleague’s machine, which dutifully forwarded it to Ryder
and, as instructed, sent a message back to the IT department telling it this is
what had happened. The IT department responded with its usual
auto-acknowledgement. The ex-colleague’s computer forwarded this to Ryder and at
the same time sent its message back to the IT department telling it this is what
had happened. The IT department responded with its usual auto-acknowledgement.
The ex-colleague’s computer . . .
And so on and so on, forever and ever, until the end of virtual time.
HUSH! Don’t tell anyone!
We have just received an e-mail from a company called Hush Communications. It
asks if we “are writing about security” and says it is “driven by the need for
privacy [and] committed to the development of the Internet as a safe and trusted
business channel”. It goes on to offer one-to-one interviews with experts who
will answer the question “Online privacy: what are the issues?”
Well, we can immediately think of one issue to discuss with Hush. Instead of
using the standard blind-copy function, which means the recipients of a mass
mail-out are not told who the other recipients are, Hush has topped and tailed
its e-mail with a six-page list of literally hundreds of other recipients and
their private e-mail addresses.
Hush indeed. Or should we say “Huh!”
THERE IS, of course, no truth at all in the idea that physicists are too
preoccupied with equations to be able to deal with personal relationships. So it
must have been for some other, quite different reason that Brookhaven National
Laboratory in the US put on a seminar entitled “Where Did Our Love
Go?—Part II” at the end of last month.
The seminar, presented by psychologist Barbara Fontana, was “designed to
describe techniques of `couples dialogue’, developed to enhance relationships
between members of a couple”. Perhaps it was all about entangled pairs of
photons.
THE IMPORTANT thing about product instructions is that they should be clear
and comprehensible. Here, as an example of how not to do it, are some highlights
from the owner’s manual for an LG refrigerator:
“Far Infrared Rays emitted from Far Infrared Rays Lamp restrains the dryness
of the foods and keeps its original form without transforming. Also Far Infrared
Rays keeps the taste and the smell of the foods for long by increasing the
nucleic acid.
“It is useful to storage the foods with no condiment such as salt or sugar,
and the foods needed to keep in the low temperature among the raw foods with no
heating or no disinfection.
“It is useful to keep the original taste of the food by F.I.R’s the
restraining excessive fermentation and overripe of the foods—Vegetable
with spices, yogurt and so on.
“It is useful to storage the foods unsuited in the Freezer among the foods
cooked or gone bad easily—Boiled Egg, Bamboo Shoots, Vegetable for
condiment, and so.
“Don’t install this appliance below 5 degrees C. It may cause the de basement
of the refridgerator.”
ON SIMILAR lines, here’s a hearty message from a box of Fujinami drinking
straws: “Let’s try homeparty fashionably and have a joyful chat with nice
fellow. Fujinami’s straw will produce you young party happily and
泦徱Բ.”
PROMINENTLY displayed on bales of Erin moss peat—the sort you can buy
at garden centres—is the legend: “Compressed to two and a half times
normal volume”
WE OBSERVED on 24 March that Microsoft’s Windows 2000 starts up with the
message “Built on NT technology”, and we went on to say that since this means
“Built on new technology technology” it joins “HIV virus” and “PIN number” as
examples of what we later christened RAS syndrome (recursive acronym syndrome
syndrome).
“No!” cried several readers. “The NT here means Northern Telecom.” So we
corrected ourselves on 7 April.
But it turns out we were right the first time. As even more readers have told
us, NT as used by Microsoft really does mean “new technology”. The confusion
arises because Northern Telecom has a trademark on the symbol NT, but Microsoft
came to an agreement with the company, allowing NT to be used in reference to
Windows NT (new technology) as well.
Got that?
BE SURE there’s a loo handy if you drink any Surgiva Natural Spring Water
from Trentino, Italy. The label states that the water “may have diuretic
properties”. Is this unusual for water, we wonder?
FINALLY, reader Edwin Thomson tells us that he was watching the BBC TV
weather report when a special forecast for people hoping to go hiking over the
weekend appeared. It featured a map of the Scottish Highlands with symbols for
rain and shine on it, captioned with the words: “Outdoor Weather.”
