THEY DRINK an awful lot of coffee in Seattle—so much so that an
investigation into local water pollution has literally gone down the drain.
Water quality researchers had planned to use caffeine—which doesn’t
occur naturally in water but gets into sewage through people’s urine—as a
tracer to determine where treated sewage flows when it enters the sea at Puget
Sound. But after initial tests the idea had to be abandoned.
The problem was the number of pavement cafes selling Seattle’s favourite
drink. At the end of the day, waiters throw the dregs down the drains, which
lead directly into the sound. The sound is now so full of coffee it has the same
concentration of caffeine everywhere, so caffeine can’t be used to track sewage
flow.
Advertisement
The researchers have decided to go back to using traditional dye
tests—a decision taken, no doubt, while sipping non-fat, extra-foam,
double-shot, grande lattes.
IT GETS harder and harder to meet the requirements of job adverts. The
following was seen on an employment website: “Principal Development Engineer.
£33K. Position requires an understanding of electronic control systems,
programming and/or R.F. You should be conversant with software programming
techniques and methodologies. Must have good Hons. Degree and have a minimum 608
years relevant experience . . .”
HALIFAX, Canada, has become the first city we know of to pass a law banning
the use of heavily scented cosmetics in public places such as buses, schools and
hospitals. The law has been on the books since 1996, but came to many citizens’
attention only recently, after the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (no less) were
called in to arrest a student who had repeatedly flouted a school ban on scents.
A teacher had complained that the girl’s perfume made her physically ill.
The Scented Products Education and Information Association of Canada has
cried foul, but city officials insist the bylaw protects people who are allergic
to some of the more overpowering whiffs on the market (we understand orris root
is a major culprit).
Feedback heartily approves—and under less libel-sensitive circumstances
would be happy to single out some perfumes and aftershaves for special
attention. But we can’t resist also noting with interest that this major seaport
waited until after the local fishery had collapsed before banning powerful
perfumes.
EDINBURGH reader Nils Tomes writes to ask: “Surely it can only be coincidence
that PPL Therapeutics, the company which created Dolly the cloned sheep, shares
a site in Edinburgh with the Bright Beginnings children’s nursery?”
IF YOU are bored with the prospect of being buried or cremated when you
die—and the idea of cryopreservation leaves you cold—then why not
have yourself mummified?
The Summum religious group in Salt Lake City claims to be the only
organisation in the world providing this service, and we don’t doubt them. What
they offer isn’t just a basic “wrap”. We’re talking high-tech, patented
interment which combines ancient art and modern science at a mere $63 000
per mummy.
Summum’s mummification work is carried out inside a gleaming metal pyramid.
Putative mummies are cleaned and drained of blood before being soaked for up to
six months in a vat of preservation fluid. The corpse is then coated with
lanolin and wrapped with gauze. Finally, a rubber covering and fibreglass
bandages are fitted, and the completed mummy is placed in a bronze casket which
is sealed with resin.
The Utah-based, non-profit organisation has mummified several pets, but
although 137 patrons have paid in advance for the wrap, it is still waiting for
its first human body. Summum officials reassure them, however, that they have
had lots of practice with donated cadavers from the local hospital.
Feedback is dying to hear how they get on.
NOTHING if not ambitious, the Booringa Shire Council in western Queensland
has thought up a way to have fun and make money at the same time. The
councillors want to brew beer made “from the water that dripped off the
dinosaurs’ backs”.
The trick is to pump groundwater from 1200 metres
underground, which they think comes from the Jurassic period when dinosaurs
roamed the Earth. Unfortunately, the councillors suffer the common delusion that
our cave-dwelling ancestors shared the planet with the dinosaurs. The water has
apparently been underground since under 2 million years ago—nearly 150
million years after the Jurassic ended.
ONE problem with ridding the world of the evil weed tobacco is that it would
put tobacco farmers out of work. The latest of many ideas proposes grapes as a
replacement crop.
In the words of a cheery press release announcing their plan to “replace
tobacco with a healthier product”, two Cornell University postgraduates outline
a scheme “that will help farmers in depressed rural communities replace their
tobacco crops with biodynamically grown grapes”.
By way of a start, Andrew Harwood and Michael Lukianoff want to create a
winegrowers cooperative in Virginia.
Good news for lungs everywhere. Not such good news for livers.
EVEN the highest authorities (like Feedback, for example) make the odd little
mistake. So we won’t crow. We’ll just gently point out to Britain’s Science
Museum that on the coffee cup it sells displaying the periodic table, the symbol
for helium is given as H, rather than He, and that for neon is N, rather than
the conventional Ne.
It’s a nice cup, though, and the other symbols seem to be right.
IS THIS the fear of litigation gone overboard? Steve Want recently purchased
a pair of motorcycle gloves from a Triumph dealer. Attached to the gloves’
packaging was a label with the following inscription: “Triumph genuine
part—to be fitted by a trained mechanic.”
On similar lines, Steve Nash bought 10 disposable paper bags for his vacuum
cleaner. The dispatch note from Electrolux Parts told him: “These parts are only
guaranteed when fitted by an Electrolux Service Force Engineer.”
We wonder how much mechanics and engineers charge for tasks like these.
