ONE OF the pleasures of editing this column is that people keep forwarding
humorous items to us that friends have sent them by e-mail. True, we often
receive the same item several times over, and some we have been receiving on and
off for years. But even then, it can be nice to be reminded of the old
chestnuts.
One such is a list of 鈥渄eep thoughts鈥�, which we were sent for what felt like
the fiftieth time by a friend last week. For those of you who haven鈥檛 already
seen it, it鈥檚 a list of profound observations like 鈥淭he problem with the gene
pool is that there is no lifeguard鈥� and 鈥淟iving on Earth is expensive, but it
does include a free trip round the Sun鈥�. As usual with the Internet, there is no
hint of who actually dreamed up the list, so we can鈥檛 give due credit to the
author.
Nevertheless, we thought that we would pass on one 鈥渢hought鈥� which cleverly
sums up the dilemma of choosing priorities that is so often faced by
conservationists: 鈥淲hat should you do if you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?鈥�
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HAS THE US annexed Canada recently without telling anyone except the American
Medical Association? On the page of its website describing physician education
(www.ama-assn. org/aps/physcred.html), the AMA makes the following
statement: 鈥淎ll physicians educated in the United States, including Puerto Rico
and Canada, have completed approximately four years of education. . . 鈥�
Puerto Rico, of course, was already a territory of the US, but Feedback
hadn鈥檛 heard about Canada.
WE SOMETIMES wonder if the people who organise international environmental
conferences are conscious of the environmental impact of international
conferences.
Does anyone calculate how many litres of jet fuel are needed to fly in the
delegates, or how many acres of forest are turned to conference papers that wind
up collecting dust on library shelves if they don鈥檛 go into the bin?
And what about the accessibility of the conference venue to public transport?
Better not ask the organisers of the Global Warming 2000 International
Conference, held last week in Boston, about that. They held their sessions at
the one major hotel鈥攖he Hyatt Regency Cambridge鈥攖hat鈥檚 virtually
impossible to get to by the city鈥檚 buses and trains.
READER Duncan Sparrow recently bought some seaweed for culinary purposes from
a company called Equinox Seafare. A brochure accompanying the product trumpeted
its qualities: 鈥淪o nutritious . . . full of minerals: Mg, Na, K, Ca, P, Cl, S,
Si and trace elements: I, Fe, Zn, Mn, Al, Cu, Sr, Ni, Ti, Cr, Co, Hg, Pb, Cd,
Sb, Se, Sn, Mo, B . . .鈥� and so on.
Sparrow is pleased to discover that, contrary to his previous beliefs,
mercury, lead and cadmium are beneficial to health.
IF YOU have had a bad day, this is the kind of thing that can reduce you to
tears. Reader Doug Fenna found himself increasingly frustrated with the wayward
ways of Talk21, the e-mail service attached to BTClick, British Telecom鈥檚 free
Internet service. There was no obvious address to send his complaint to, so he
addressed it to 鈥淧ostmaster@talk21.com鈥�.
It was bounced with the message 鈥渦ser鈥檚 mailbox quota is full鈥�. But not to
worry. He was told that if he still had a problem, he could always get it sorted
out by writing to 鈥淧ostmaster@talk21.com鈥�.
THE BBC鈥橲 new boss, Greg Dyke, became famous for saving an ailing TV station
by bringing in a talking rat. He now says he wants more science broadcasts on
radio, TV and the Internet, handled in 鈥渋maginative ways鈥�. A report of his
speech at London鈥檚 Science Museum has been circulated to BBC staff. 鈥淭he
questions are not just philosophical, but political,鈥� says Dyke. 鈥淪uch as the
issue of whether the world鈥檚 gene poo should become patented intellectual
辫谤辞辫别谤迟测.鈥�
THIS was sent in by Martin Durrani, who wonders if it is the most boring
press release ever: 鈥淩D Automation of Piscataway, NJ (formerly Research Devices,
Inc) received a multi-system order for the Model CDB-50 Automated Flip Chip Die
Bonder from Samsung, Korea.鈥�
That鈥檚 it. All of it. Hold the front page!
HERE is a most helpful hint from the instruction manual of the Bush DVD
player. An extra loose page inserted in it is headed 鈥淚mportant鈥�. It reads:
鈥淏efore enjoying DVD/ Video CD/CD: The On Screen menu language of your player
has been factory pre-set to English. The second available language is Chinese.
We suggest you not to enter in this language鈥檚 menu (unless you can understand
颁丑颈苍别蝉别).鈥�
COULD there be a contradiction here? Farnell Electronic Components of Leeds
sells the 鈥淪akura Marker Water Soluble Crayon鈥�. In the catalogue description it
says: 鈥淢arks almost any surface, even under water.鈥�
FINALLY, on the back of Danny Chambers鈥檚 Lloyds Bank MasterCard, it says:
鈥淩ing 01702 364800 if this card is lost or stolen.鈥�
So if the card is lost or stolen, all he has to do is look on the back of the
card.
