THE NEWS that NASA astronauts have been conducting experiments on the shuttle
to determine which sexual positions are best in conditions of zero gravity was
quickly picked up on by the French news agency Agence France-Presse. Its source
was French journalist and one-time aspiring astronaut Pierre Kohler, who
referred to it in his recent book The Final Mission.
Unfortunately, it seems that in their eagerness to report which of the 10
positions provided the most satisfactory outcome, not to mention which
extramarital aids were required to keep the copulating partners together, both
Kohler and AFP overlooked the fact that NASA has declared the study a hoax.
If you want to read the more entertaining details of the bogus research,
which adds new meaning to the term 鈥減assive voice鈥�, see
www.reston.com/nasa/humor/sexinspace.urban.legend. html
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THERE are bound to be good evolutionary reasons why DIY has traditionally
been the preserve of the male, even if Feedback can鈥檛 quite work out what they
are. But in any case this is all about to change, thanks to the Taiwanese
manufacturer of an electrical testing screwdriver. The instructions that
accompany the implement translate as follows: 鈥淭he product is so easy to use it
can be used by children or even women.鈥�
Sorry, girls, no more excuses. (And of course we mean 鈥済irls鈥� literally.)
贵贰贰顿叠础颁碍鈥橲 admiration for the scriptwriters of popular science programmes on
the television knows few bounds. It鈥檚 a special skill, recounting each of the
difficult points four times in different words, so that the television
executives end up enlightened, while not boring the undergarments off the rest
of us. But a BBC/WGBH Horizon show on the repair of the Hubble Space
Telescope rather overdid the common touch, we feel.
Marvelling at the difficulty of working in space, the programme helpfully
explained that 鈥渢he astronauts had to accomplish all this while whirling around
the Earth at 17 000 miles per hour鈥�. Astronauts might want to correct us mere
journalists鈥攂ut we鈥檇 have thought that their velocity relative to said TV
executives鈥� desk ornaments was absolutely the least of their problems.
罢贬贰搁贰鈥橲 nothing new under the Sun. Or, for that matter, the Moon. Having
spotted an item in our Patents column (6 February, p 7) in which the
Issledovatlsky Centre in Moscow laid claim to the apparently novel concept of
using rockets to advertise projects by making images in the ionosphere, Arthur
C. Clarke writes to tell us that he got there first.
In his 1956 story 鈥淰enture to the Moon鈥�, Clarke describes an experiment
conducted by a team of American astronauts while on the Moon. The idea was to
fire a few hundred kilograms of sodium up from the surface in the knowledge that
it would fluoresce on being struck by the Sun鈥檚 rays, and teach them something
about the composition of the Moon鈥檚 upper atmosphere.
News of the impending experiment drew a huge crowd of spectators on Earth.
But when the rocket was eventually fired, it quickly became apparent鈥攖o
the horror of the astronauts standing helplessly by鈥攖hat the scientific
agenda had been hijacked to pull off the 鈥済reatest advertising coup in
丑颈蝉迟辞谤测鈥�.
Somebody had inserted a stencil of the logo of a famous soft drink into the
nozzle of the sodium bomb. The stencil shaped the sodium plume so that the logo
was emblazoned across the dark surface of the Moon. The letters remained visible
from Earth for over an hour, by which time the words had dispersed over a
thousand miles of space. Maybe someone in Moscow has a taste for classic SF.
READER Matt Glasgow tells us that he鈥檚 always on the lookout for ways to ease
household chores. Recently he picked up a product called Mr Muscle Shower
Clean.
鈥淣ever scrub again!鈥� it stated boldly on the bottle.
It wasn鈥檛 until he got home that he read the instructions on the back: 鈥�1.
For best results, start with a clean shower.鈥�
Glasgow claims no expertise as an industrial chemist, but with that
philosophy in mind, he is sure he could come up with, oh, dozens of new cleaning
preparations.
JUNK mail from banks touting their credit cards threatens to snarl up the
postal system. Occasionally, though, it offers a little unintended light relief.
Here is how Bank One puts a glamorous spin on its 鈥淧latinum鈥� card.
鈥淧latinum is more precious and more enduring than gold. If you took all the
platinum ever mined in the world, it would make a cube just 17 feet square.鈥�
READING the titles of scientific papers outside one鈥檚 field, often brings on
that indefinable sensation that a quite sensible meaning is close at hand but
just out of reach. Probably. Last year鈥檚 conference on phage display
technologies in Brussels included discussion of a paper entitled 鈥淏inding
domains derived from llama heavy chair antibodies鈥�.
